DNA DAD

Life is complicated, isn’t it? I never knew who my DNA Dad was growing up; I met him one weekend in the summer ’92. We had a nice time; we had every meal together he met. I met his wife and learned all about his stepson that he was raising. Later that summer he gave me a little money, and I bought a new sewing machine with it. He sent me the weirdest Christmas gift; it was a framed brass sculpture with two birds protecting a nest. I never saw or heard from him again.

A few years ago my friend Larae and I looked him up on the Internet to see where he was. Back in Texas, okay. Still alive, that’s good. Since then I wondered if I’d ever know when he died, well the answer to that is no. It turns out that he died in early August of this year, a little over a month ago. It was my mom that found his obituary when trying to find his location. If circumstances were different, they would be celebrating 50 years soon.

I’m very weirded out by my reaction to the news. I only spent 12 hours with the man, ever. I never knew the man. You can’t miss what you never had, right? I grew up knowing that he existed and why my mom decided to go it alone. I’ve always been proud that she did what was best for us. It was the late ’60’s, imagine how difficult those choices must have been. She left and went back home to her Catholic family, and we lived there for two years. That wasn’t easy!

Roger Paul Rine, 69, of Mauriceville, died Aug. 3, 2016, in Lufkin. Cremation arrangements are under the direction of Carroway Funeral Home, Lufkin. Mr. Rine was born Dec. 11, 1946 in Big Timber, Montana.

I’m deeply saddened by the obituary; it consists of a scant 29 words. Name, age, place of birth and where he resided and died and was cremated. That’s not enough words for a man of 69. So I’m on a mission to find out more about his last days. Why did he die 2 hours away from his home? Why did they cremate him there in the town where he died? Why isn’t any next of kin or family mentioned? Where are his remains? There was no service, did he die alone and unattached to anyone?

I’ve contacted the funeral home that did the cremation. I explained my relationship, and I’ve asked them for any and all information that have on his passing, remains, and next of kin.

I’ve looked for background information on him, but I’m a little scared of the types of sites that offer this up for a price. I have determined the name of his wife in the 90’s, that she’s still alive and living near, but not in, the town that was listed as his residence. I’m waiting to hear from the funeral home before reaching out to her.

Honestly, I’m a little scared and maybe and little ashamed that I’m just now trying to connect. I’m not sure that it was my responsibility to make and keep the connection, but I still feel concerned and conflicted about all of this. I’ll post more information as I find out more about Roger Rine’s life, it’s only fair that his story consists of more than 29 words.